prestently listening to:

intentions to:

soberity level:

this morning i woke up in love with Marco. its strange really, i woke up in love with him and then i remembered that i had just been dreaming. i guess i'm not really in love with him...but i really was in my dream. its hard to explain... in my dream we were together all cute and kissey. but the, we weren't and there was this chick (represented my his friend stephie the german i believe) that was all up on him, and i wasn't as sad as i was jealous. but at that point in the dream there was someone else petting and kissing me. this all came about because i cut his hair last night and i touched his neck the way i knew he liked. was that wrong of me? i don't generally go out of my way to stroke a the way i know they'd love it while giving them a haircut. hair cuts are personal i know. you have to touch the person, stare at their face and care that it comes out ok. but marco, i do care for him. more than i'm suppost to? i can't even tell. maybe my dream was some sort of clue, that he and i are through. he didn't end up with me at the end of the dream and it was MY dream. it thats what i want, marco and i together, isn't that the way i'd dream up the ending? maybe this dream was just a reminder that i still have feelings for him. maybe i'm just lonely and i miss his company because he hasn't been aroung so much lately with stephie the german still around. (i don't mean to sound like i hate this girl, i don't even dislike her. i bet we'd be good friends if i wasn't so damned jealous all the time.) i just remembered, i don't think greg was in my dream. now thats a twist. its not like i think i'm in love with greg but i guess i have somthing of a crush on him. but then, who don't i have a crush on before they become a close friend? i'm just like that. making everything more complicated.

i guess i'm just lonely.