prestently listening to:

intentions to:

soberity level:

ahh yes, yoric.

a fine specimen of belgin boy. i love his smile. i almost forgot how great it is. and man is he good looking. i wish i could see him just as hes waking up. that is the truely defining moment of any beautiful person. before the hair is done, before the make-up is on, before you shave. when theres still crush in your eyes, or even before the crust and its that sleepy goo.

now why is the most lovely things that have ever been spoken to me have been done in either extremely short lived situations or from miles away? in this case it was thursday night, the night i got there. yoric came over to erik's. we chatted hellos and flirty glances. he'd leave the next day and wouldn't be back in town till sunday. we went to Albertsons on a beer run, bryan, bret, nick, yoric & i. through the store yoric taunted me with promises if i made him my famous cookies i'd sworen to him almost a year a go. we teased and he swore i was trying to liqour him up.

later that night, after a series of interesting occasions to be read about in entries soon to come, and a certain condom mishap?(this random girl came over to erik's porch looking for a condom "for (her) firend, she needs it really bad" in awe with the situation, and with yoric recognizing this chick, i took it apon myself to find a condom to put this girl on her way. back fire. she took yoric with her "will you come with me?" now tell me that doesn't sound like a slutty set-up. with yoric gone and micah disapeared i took a walk to the park across the street alone, drunk) i came back from a short walk and yoric had returned. he asked where i'd gone and teased him for disapearing with a random & condom. "but i didn't use it!" he defended. so he then suggested we stroll to the shore side...

make-out magic time!?!

no, not really. i am still me ya know, even in Santa Barbra. i get no action.

we walked, and we talked. he'd say things like "your my favorite person" "your so awesome" "lets get down in the sand" all with humor and an air of seriousness. i showed him the sparkley shrimp. we held hands. we held each other in our arms. for warmpth. for the feeling that there was someone in front of us worthy of holding in our arms without decieving intentions or un pure thoughts. it was really romantic. (blah blah blah. i could barf reading this myself, i apologize, but i can't lie now can i?) he was quite the gentleman, quite a friend. very easily could we have kist at any given time. it would have felt nice, felt right. but it didn't happen. not even a kiss. i have to say it made the night that much more pure. and it makes me want him that much more. (sick, aren't i?)

we went back and i layed my head on his lap as he played with my hair(clean your thoughts! in his lap, not in his pants) it was wonderful really. he was supost to come back sunday morning, i'm sure he did, but he slept all day till he had to go to work. so, i didn't get to say good bye.

i made him those cookies on friday and had to leave them in eriks care for yoric. i'll doubt he'll see any of them. (i love you big E the popcorn/cookie monster!)

he called last night at 1, i didn't answer 'cause i was too sleepy, but i did listen to the message right after he left it. he was sorry he didn't see me off and hoped to see me soon.

blah blah blah.

i needed somthing. some love. this'll keep me going for weeks.