prestently listening to:

intentions to:

soberity level:

i wigged out tonight.

driving away from the youth center i pulled over for not stoping completely. the F-ing jerk off wrote me a ticket even as i begged him not to write it, it meant my license, i was just leaving work, i work for the city too, please...

he wrote it anyway. i cried as he pulled away. i told my dad i'd stop by so i cleaned up and went over. he wasn't home. i told my sister what happened, stated to cry and left shouting the end of my story between sobs walking out of the house.

i went to neal and gregs houe to say hello, smoke a bowl and chill the fuck out. when i got up the first of three flights of stairs there was a girl outside with greg and sean. if i hadn't been seen i'd have turned around and left. who is she? matt's sister, alison. not convincingly non-threatening enough for me thanks. i made my self look like an ass. when passed kiffe i had'nt a clue how to smoke the damned thing. it was a lighter pipe thing i'd never seen before. i had to be shown how to hit it. i'm cool. i left before 10. tonight needs to be done.

paul called to ask how things where. asked whats up with greg and neal, how dave is. i had no answers. i don't know.

if these people are my friends, why do they always end up makeing me feel so shitty?