prestently listening to:the bubbling noise of my mothers "mister"

intentions to: go to bed in 10-30 mins

soberity level: exhausted from a bowl at 4pm

make-out update: yes, kristen has made-out with someone. the first make-out since...since marco... ehew

ok, so the catch... it was micah. why do i love that boy? oh ya, because hes a wonderful sole. he makes me smile. he reminds me that passion and romance exsist.

it happened like this... thursday night i went over to yoric's house for a 'hello', however i was under the impression after our last visit that there was something to be had between the both of us. i went over there and all was well. he was flirty and things were moving along nicely smoking and watching Connan Obrien (which i'd never seen before so i didn't mind)

all was great till, dum dum duuum, the x-g/f called. he got on the phone with her and was inviting her over and using that cute 'i like you' voice.

so after over 10 mins of he ignoring me, i grabed my things and anounced my departure. i think brian, his roomate, knew i was pist. i hope he said somthing like, "yoric, you dumb fuck". but brian's really nice, so i doubt he did.

i went back to eriks place very disapointed and a little discouraged. i thought i had this one in the bag. shows what i know. lets take a minute to remind ourselves this is the same guy that invited me to sleep at his house last year after being flirty all night and after i had to blatenly offer myself to him and it still flew over his head. no play then either. just 2 weeks ago yoric was offering himself and 'services' in exchange for my famous cookies.

what? the? fuck?

so, that night i got trashed. i don't remember coming 'home' (eriks house, my SB home). i threw up from 6am-11am the next morning.

friday night erik and i had dinner with my mom and brother at the Santa Barbara Brewery, which i HIGHLY recommend. later i went and saw him spin at some house. just before i left to watch him, i talked to micah, whom was at home sick. after we hung up with no chance of getting him out of the house, he had called back 15 mins later. i didn't hear my phone ring, but he left a message akwardly inviting me to his house if i got bored. as chances have it, i always get bored in SB. (i'm really not into sluty-bitches every where.) i called him a quater to 12 and asked if he was awake and if i could come bug him. he gave me directions to his house. then he called back and said he didn't want me walking by myself. i told him i was a big girl. he said he'd find me. he did. gladly as i was sure to have gotten lost anyway. fuck goleta in the dark.

we went back to his studio. we sat and watched tv, but mostly takled. at first we sat very ridgidly and didn't touch. then we'd lean on each other. eventually i ened up kinda sitting with my legs over his lap. like this, we embraced, for longer than we should have, because it turned into a kiss. finally, it was a full on make-out session. we'd pause to gaze into each others eyes and say things like "i missed you, like this" and "we'll never be just friends"

i truely love the kid.

things got kinda hot and i decided i should go after he announced he was going to bed without any reffrence to my leaving. i would have liked to stay. i really would have liked that. but i had to leave early the next day, erik didn't know where i was and, and... micah still has lauren in NY and believe it or not i have somthing of a conscience left.

he drove me back to the house and we necked good-bye. he told me to call him, "even when your not in town, ok?" gawd i miss him. i miss that. you know, being wanted, being payed attention to.

i didn't ask if lauren was going to monster massive the 26th. i assume she is. i'm going with other people anyway.

"why did you make-out with micah?" erik will ask if he reads this. if he doesn't read this he'll never know. only micah and i know. i don't have to explain a thing. of course he'd only ask because he watches and shakes his head when ever i get myself into mayjor potential drama.

i love erik. i think he's the only person remotely close to understanding me and why i'm so stoopid.

ahh. santa barbara drama. i live for it. hehehe.

next trip: chico