prestently listening to:Adore, Smaking Pumkins

intentions to: go to work

soberity level:

i don't have time for this entry. i haven't time for much this week at all. being buisy is what i'm best at. then i'll get all stressed out, take a break from my crazy schedules and freak out with nothing to do...because i haven't anyone to do nothing with.

you see, i'm not bad at being alone, as long as i drive myself near the brink of insanity with things that must be done. its that stillness that makes my heart beat irregularly. the eptiness that makes my breathing shallow. i start to sweat from lack of action, movement and the kind of thought that can just fly through your mind without any toll on your sole. its when i'm still, alone, quiet,that my own voice brings me to tears. thoughts. too many. raking over and over my heart. leaveing deeper. and deeper. treads.

not this week.

thank gawd.

i need to find more distractions from myself.