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and it's hard to hold a candle
Thursday, Nov. 21, 2002 - 8:07 am
um, STDs? Ricky-WanderingFingers?

prestently listening to:the news. man, eveything sucks.

intentions to: go to my faaaaaaav art class of DEATH

soberity level: phsssshhhhh

sorry i haven't been updating lately. (not assuming any of you care, of course)

its been a conflict of interest. its bad news bears when you wanna write whats on your mind, but you don't wanna be held to it by those whom read it, ya know? in any case, i'm trying to make my come back here. so much to update you on!

lets see...yesterday i recieved via delivery two long stem roses, was accused a giving somone an STD and finally hung out with marco after forever.

lets start with the STD thing, because that reads the most alarming i think. we all remeber Greg? i was in luv with this guy all summer? huh? look back though older entries to refresh as nessicary. welll...Greg was evicted out of his Apt. about a month ago and thats when i talked to him last. i guess hes been living with the g/f of his (skank). well, the last time i talked to greg he was in a bit of a medical crisis. he had this strange rash that he called me in a panic to check out. natuarlly he called me because; a) i'm probably the smartest most educated friend he has, b) i know lots about lil medical concerns from working with kids and having a cosmetic license, and, c) because i'd told him about a rash i'd had a year ago that seemed to have the same symtoms. well, he called me outta the blue yesterday...

g-"hey"

m-"whats up!?! how are you?"

g-"not too good, i'm just leaving the doctors office. so ah, what did your doctors say you had with that skin thing?"

m-"they told me it was a detergent irritation after they tried to treat me for scabies. when i had come back they were like, 'oh, no! you didn't have scabies!' and i was like no shit assholes!"

g-"so, you didn't have it and were just too embarassed to say so?"

m-(what the fuck?)"ah, no dude."

g-"all right, well, they gave me a skin test and i have them."

m-"sorry dude, that sucks. they should be gone in 20 hours or less."

g-"ya. well, what eve, bye."

m-"ya bro." click.

what?!?! i slept in this guys bed, i could see him asking me about it, or better yet WARNING me he'd been diagnosed, but he fucking accused me of giving him fucking body lice!!!!!

gross.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so, ricky...

he called me tuesday to go out to lunch. i didn't have my phone, but i checked my voice mail and went to the trouble of finding his work# in the yellow pages to call him back.

blahblahblah

m-"so i can't take my lunch"

r-"what are you doin tonight?"

m-"i got no plans."

r-"lets hang out. i get outta my DUI class at 8."

m-"i'm down call me."

blahblahblah

out of no where...

r-"i can't fuckin read you at all. are you even intersted?!?"

m-"whoa bro, i called you back didn't i?"

r-"i don't waste my time."

m-"seriously dude, if you think you MIGHT be wasting your time, don't talk to me."

r-"alright whateve." click!

what the fuck!?! fuck that guy! what ever, one less person to fuckin deal with...ah, no such luck...he calls me at 8 "i'm outta class, call me at home." no thanks, i'm NOT calling. he calls agian "ya know i wanted tyo hangout with you, but i'd like to make plans if otherwise. i'd really appreciate if you'd let me know. thanks" are you kidding me? it not over..."ya, well i'm taking the alternate route. thanks any way. g'night." psyco? well he called the next day at 3.

r-"hey hows it gonin?"

m-"what up dude."

r-"so, what you up to tonight?"

m-'ya know what bro? nothin. its cool. your cool, i'm cool, we tried."

r-"what?!?"

m-"seriously i had no intentions to speak to you again after our last conversation"

r-"was just spittin back the same attitude you were giving me! thats not fare! give me another shot!"

m-"dude! we tired, i think you are probably cool, but look too much drama waaaaay too early."

r-"c'mon kristen, please!"

m-"look, if you ever want to speak to me again, you can call me after 8 when i'm done here, i gotta go back to work now." click.

6pm rolls by...special delivery! two long stem roses and a typed letter of apology and slight explanation of said confusion. ahhh! i was ready to be done! he called at 7:30. "you get me gift? outta asses mouth, i'm sorry" yes thank you, melt my fuckin heart. i agreed to met him after work. i went to his house and we hung out a lil, drank some beers. he tried to explain him self and it became apparent to me that people who spit mad game don't usually go to so much trouble. he told me he wasn't gonna let me get away that easy, he likes me, i'm pretty, i could kick his ass if i wanted to, you know the usual shower of compliments. we sorta snuggled a lil. ricky wandering fingers... i announced my departure went he went for the dive down stairs. "no! stay!" i was like "naw dawg, i'd love to get a lil head 'n shit, but i ain't like dat." so he walked me out and asked to see me again. i said maybe. he called me after id gotten home and thanked me again for hanging out and apologized again for crossing any boundries that made me leave. it was late, i needed to leave anyway. he told me again that he was into me.

now what?

i had expected to see him, tell him it was all wrong and bounce! now i gotts a stalker?P>

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coming up next, the missing brandon episodes! stay tuned.

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in the cold November rain