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and it's hard to hold a candle
Monday, Dec. 16, 2002 - 12:13 pm
breath out

prestently listening to:

intentions to:

soberity level:

"I wanted to write you an e-mail last night but really I think that goodnight kiss said everything I could possibly ever write down. Thank you for an awesome night and I will see you in a few hours where we conquer san francisco. -BP"

Subject: i left my heart in San Fransisco? oh, no, thats where i found it...

Date: Dec. 16, 10:16 am

so, you just left my house and i'm sitting here in front of my computer thinking of so many things and just trying to recall all of last night.

so, i thought about it...i'm sorry i was crying yesterday. i don't feel like i have to apologize, at all, i know you understand. i think sitting in my back seat for 2 hours were some of the best two hours i have ever spent in my life(!). and, as completely terrified as i am, i'm really glad i finally told you what we both already knew. with every nod, with every quivered breath, electric kiss and longing stare, we both already knew. and for as "too soon" as this all really seems (seems, not feels) i thought to myself, we could have died trying to get home last night in that storm. i could have crashed and killed us both. we could have been mugged and shot last night. we could have asked for a jump and been kidnaped, or abducted by alien robots even! so, what i'm saying is, saying those three words, as scary and dangerous as they seem to be, would have been worth the heartbreak and tears of a different emotional origin. cause if i die today, i need you to know how truely amazing i know that you are and tell you that i fell in love in one month and 8 days (well, alot sooner than that, i just found the words in a month and 8 days) with the most wonderful person i have yet to meet.

thank you brandon. thank you for reminding me what its like to feel. for 8 dollar cocktails, for running 4 city blocks in the rain to see a show thats not playing. for kisses in the rain. for seeing how cool my sister is and how much i love her. for making me smile when all i wanted to do was cry and blow-up San Fransisco. for drinking wine with me in probably one of the most unlikely of places. for showing me those smurfs! for going to a silly fashion party to see my bestest, bestest friend and his passion. for singing along and bareing my singing along with you! for standing in the rain with me for a jump! and...

...thank you for not droping my heart on the floor of my back seat...

(back seat confessionals?)

thank you thank you thank you.

i'll see you soon, talk to you sooner and think of you always,

~kristen marie ...

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in the cold November rain