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and it's hard to hold a candle
Sunday, Jan. 12, 2003 - 11:22 am
i'm a cunt because you hit my car?

prestently listening to:"car accidents suck, but this CD doesn't" BP mix

intentions to: try and tell BP how greatful i am for him. try.

soberity level: SOber

hi.

some dumb fuck hit me yesterday as i was less than 100 feet from the parking lot of my work place. he backed into me as i was driving by, scratching my car from the first tire well, down the passanger door and side panel. he then proceeded to get out of his unmarked Bronco and call me every curse word that is unholy with his kids in the car listening to every syllable. of course i hit him...cause my car drives sideways? he refused to give me his insurance info and told me he'd never pay me a god damn cent cause it was my fault. he paced around looking for a wittness. he found one. the key eye wittness stated "i didn't really see anything. i didn't even know you guys had hit. you were just driving kinda fast" thank you for being so informative asslick. eventually the guy gave me his name # and address but continued to refuse his insurance info. so, i went to the police after work to report this as a hit and run. they said since he gave me his name it was not a hit and run. i hate my life. i'd love to ask that enternal question "why me?" but really, there are people whom allow life to happen to them, and those whom live thier life and make thier choices. i choose to fuck this guy up the ass.

p.s. his kids were shortly dropped off at the youth center after the event. i know these kids. these are good kids. i like them. they wouldn't talk to me all day. i guess i wouldn't either if my psycotic white trash father had just declared me the wicked bitch of the west.

i think i'm almost more pist that this guy was suck a jerk off in front of his kids.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so BP drove up hangout. i was being a total brat. we went to good ol mike beckers b-day bash 10ish and half the party had left and mike had already passed out. i was supost to see Marco that night. i was supost to come earlier. i feel like such an asshole. kacie wanted to go to some bars and drinking was the last thing i wanted. i wanted to run til i couldn't breath. i wanted to ball my fists till they bled. i wanted to hit so hard i broke my fists and dislocated my arms. instead, i got quiet. BP got scared. i hate being like that. we went on a walk and i got better. we ate breakfast at midnight. we drove in circles till 1am then came back to my house and he watched Harry Potter and i slept with my head resting on his stomache. my head resting. my head resting. resting.

sometimes...always, hes more than i could ever ask for. more than i could ever deserve want outloud.

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in the cold November rain