prestently listening to:my rambling, suspicious conscious

intentions to:

soberity level:

beautiful day at los lobos. it was special. back at his house. renee is 5 tinis deep on the phone. we have to pick her up. i'll drive myself. we get to the bar and they flirt in that way that really good friends flirt. ok. not new. i go with kelly to smoke. i come back to renee telling me how hes gonna stay at her house while her parents are gone. she hates being alone in the house. she says how her parents are gonna pay for him and her to go to Las Vegas. and marie. how they'll all sleep in one bed. no big deal. share a bed. her sleeping with him occupied pretty much all the conversation in the end. i announced my departure. he asked if i was tired. i'm not. i said i was. i was pist. she siad she was drunk and sleepy. he said he was tired. he asked if i wanted to be walked to my car. i said he didn't have too. so he didn't. a car full of large hispanic men in a lowered SUV creeped by me in the parting lot. they said i shouldn't be walking alone. i thanked them under my breath. i got mad lost trying to find the freeway. ended up on the otherside of the tracks. litterally. i'm not emotional. i'm pist. pist dry. i've never really been mad at him ever before. i promised i'd call him when i got home. i'm not going to call. why did they stay at the bar? thier car was parked next to mine. they said they were tired. why'd they stay? why wouldn't you walk your girlfriend to her car on a saturday night in downtown SJ? why wouldn't you walk ANY friend to thier car in downtown SJ? why'd they stay?