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and it's hard to hold a candle
Monday, Apr. 07, 2003 - 6:29 pm
sober for now

prestently listening to:denis

intentions to: dollar beers yo

soberity level: sober for now

ok so alls well again. i very much realize he'd never "cheat" on me. that wasn't really the issue anyway. it was a fuct situation to put me in and i was oist that he didn't see that. what was worse is that he attempted to deffend her. he went on to remind me they'd always been and always would be friends. what i heard; shes here before you, she'll be here after you, shes better than you. so maybe i'm just a jealous girl. i guess finding out your b/f has been sleeping with his bestfriend could do that. make one think. i trust BP more than i thought i could. thats scarey enough. i never really trusted Ian. but then, all that nagging, asking all those questions couldn't do a thing more than aid the aparently inevitable...time heals all wounds? its been a year since we broke up. two years since i cought him cheating on me. it still hurts. not cause i care for him anymore, but because someone could hurt me like that. tear me down, wipe me out and wash me away. i'd never think BP could do that to me. but i never thought anyone could do it to me. i guess can't beat myself up over reminicing in a state of alarm, panic or piss-ed-ness.

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in the cold November rain