prestently listening to:my mother trickling foutain that make me wanna pee

intentions to: comb thround my newly dyed pink hair

soberity level: still swaying

oh my diary, how i neglect thee. i just came back from a week on Shasta Lake, Ca. i was house boating with my dads family. what an experience! this statement exsists solely in refference to the "family time", as well as the senic beauty of the trip.

i came back yesterday, got off the boat, into my car, drove for 5 solid hours stopping once for gas and now i'm home. i've had a bit of land sickness. really, i was down right nauseus yesterday! now i just sort of sway when i mean to stand up straight.

i surprized BP by dropping by his show last night. he was glad to see me, but thing are always so restrainted in the public music world. we exchanged a few short lived huggs and kisses hidden behind my car. i knew he was going to be busy that night, he aplogized for not spending more time with me. it took the sparkle out of my eyes and replaced it with a sad glassey, longing stare to restain from tackling him to the ground and cover him in kisses. he whispered that i looked beautiful and it felt like i'd been gone a year.

he leaves for tour in two weeks. he'll be gone for a month.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

now to back track a bit...Renee, bps bestest friend, still bugs the shit out of me. she keeps saying stoopid shit and i still can't tell if she's got guff with me for being the g/f or if shes just obliviously stoopid. bp says shes just dumb.

at her grad party, i brought her flowers and champagne. then i played keg master and pounded 5 new castles. then, i threw up all night. hmm, second party at her house i've been at, second time i've puked to avoid the actual party. in my spewing, bp entered the bathroom and refused to leave..

ok, now i realize there are some people that want to be comforted in a time of vomiting, BUT there are others that would rather be left to die by themselves...like me.

he wouldn't leave. i begged to ralph in peace, but instead he asked me to move out/in with him. i told him it was a horrible time to ask between spitting the contents of my stomache out of the creveses of my teeth.

how very romantic.

later, i tried to bring up this conversation, not to pressure anyone, but to deterimine if he had been as drunk as i was that evening when he'd asked. he was.

we left it as something to consider, later. after he gets a full time job and after i realize that moving in with david and marco in 2 months isn't going to work.