prestently listening to:tequila!

intentions to: pout

soberity level: gonna get there, give me 10 mins and a walk to the parking lot with stacky-ro-red

bp leaves in a week for tour. i was trippin out about this last week, but i've been feeling better. i'm putting together this care package; a dozen cowboy cookies, a dozen pink-pot-o-gold cookies, four letters full of musshy stuff for the days he misses me lotts and i can't talk to him, and one more letter to open on our 8 month aniversary that has a map of what the nights sky will look like at midnight on that night.

he'd better miss me, and i'm ensuring this with lotts nice reminders that i love him lotts all the way from CA.

i'm fooling myself into thinking that all of this prep would make any difference should he choose to stray from his thus far faithful path. he's presently sipping on a pint with his x, anne. this girl he dated years ago, that his "aunt like boss" thought he was still dating. i don't like this, but then, i am a jealous girl. i'm trying not to think about it, but instead i'm thinking of what i could be text messageing him right now that would make him say in her company, "oh, i love my girlfriend, shes so great."

i have a problem i think. i don't know if i've EVER really trusted anyone. thats not so strange, right? being a girl and all...and i say girl as a 21 year old because i refuse to grow up, and i hate being reffernced as a woman outside of any sexual refference from a partner. even then only because i work with kids and any sexual refference has to be age specific or i get grossed way out.

well, i'm quite through here.

i'd like to give a "whoop whoop" to my good and faith friends mr. invisibledon and mr. evil robot army.

i heart you guys.