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and it's hard to hold a candle |
Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003 - 12:39 pm valium prestently listening to:peoples court on tv intentions to: go to work soberity level: brocoli heloo, its i, the hollowed empty cold shell of what was once, a warm spirit. not. i've always been depressing and mellow dramatic. who am i kidding? all the same, i'm back to complain about, me. so, i've been plagued with this sense that i'm fucking shit up with bp. i keep thinking myself too little. not pretty enough, not put together. why? theory 1- i realize that i'm waay in love with him and i'm scared i'm not good enough theory 2- i'm bored, i'm creating a challenge because there isn't one any more theory 3- i.fuck.up.shit.when.things.are.going.well.for.me well, what is it? maybe i'm just way to dependent apon him, emotionally. maybe we should be apart more often. i don't fucking know. any suggestions? i think i needa valium
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in the cold November rain |