prestently listening to:wes cravin's "last house on the left" on DVD

intentions to: go to work

soberity level: i'm not sick anymore! yeahy!

ya, so.

the night brandon and i were introduced, kristine was toiling with the evil forces of...dumdumdum...

"dexter". we'll call the b/f dexter.

it seemed to us that he was ignoring her, but really, they were playing that game like in high school. ya know, where your expected to read thier mind, and when you don't your an asshole and they cold shoulder you till they break down and scream... ya. good times.

(we won't get into how he BROKE-UP WITH HER over a month ago. or how she still jumps at his word. or how he calls her when HEs ready. or how she still does all that shit for his stoopid band, like booking and merch ect.)

HE HAS YOU WRAPPED AROUND HIS FUCKIN FINGER.

i wouldn't ask you back-out either! hes getting everthing he wants from her PLUS he has the ultimate control. if he so much as makes a mean face at her, shes in tears for days. DAYS.

i'm only angry because i've been there. i've been in exactly that place. were i'd swear i'd sell my sole to be with him. were i swore i'd never take another breath without him. i thought my heart had been broken into bits so small that they flooded my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. days i thought i'd die. days i wish i'd die.

i'm getting emotional thinking about that time. man. i was as good as dead those days. many of which i spent tossing inbetween sobs in my bed. i was physically ill over it all. i couldn't eat, sleep, see straight, stand up straight. i was nauseaous, dizzy. it was a total break down. damn it. i remember.

it absolutely kills me that hes doing this to her. but shes stoopid for letting it happen.

no one can tell her that though.

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on another note...

amist listening to kristine's heart break over the phone the next day, she mentioned brandon. i guess when i left the table at the restraunt to go to the restroom, he very enthusiastically thanked her for introducing us.

i asked her to give him my number if they spoke later.

they did. he called.

we were on the phone for over half an hour(!) i'm not much of a phone conversator generally. i prefffer to look at the person i'm speaking with. but it went very well.

i think i'll go to that show tonight. it should be fun. i don't see much of a chance to really hangout and chat with brandon, but, ehh. beats sitting home, right?