prestently listening to:music to wear matching jackets to

intentions to: go 2 sleep

soberity level:

he called and i cried myself a pity party over the phone. he was the only person i could think of. all daylong...if i could be any place with anyone...i dont need your ear, i need his. don't need a hug. i crave his touch. i dont want your sympathy, i want him. all it takes in a second lost in his eyes.he drove from south san jose to my house. 'will you be home? i have something for you. i couldn't stand to hear you so sad.'he beat me there. i came home to his face. i came home.'music to wear matching jackets to'. track 3 he said. track three made me quiver from inside. something familar. something lost. forgotten. track three reminds me, of. gut wrenching. heart singing. splitting in half. living forever in a single night. understanding 'alone'...because your not.it made me still like silkly chilled milk. does my heart beat when i'm not looking into his star gaze? i can't tell. i hadn't noticed a beat in a long time before. like a dear trapped in headlights. a flutter of panic. overwhemlingly frozen in stun. it takes your breath away from your chest. i can't think. your skin contact is intoxication. my mind stops and my sole exhales. do you mean it? the CD, do you mean it? if you do, i'm scared. whats this called? four letter words...starts with...Lost, ends with being found. were you aware your fist is in my open chest?*caution: handel with care*