prestently listening to:

intentions to:

soberity level:

how is it fair that they need me now? i went through such depression when ian and i broke up, it was scarey...still is sometimes! but now kerry, and tim, they both need someone to listen. they're hurting so bad. of course, anyone that asks for my help will get it, but wheres mine? i was finally really doing better, not thinking about it too much. but now, i hear all that pain through them and i can feel myself start to slip. where were they when i couldn't get out of bed in the morning? where were they when i'd go home eary, miss work to sit in my bedroom and cry for hours on end? i don't mean to sound like a brat, i'll be here for them all the way, but is it fair? will this mean they'll be there for me to lapse? does this ensure that when i'm on the verge of self destruction, they'll be there to talk me down?

reguardless, i'll be here.