prestently listening to:morning radio

intentions to: go to my art class at 9

soberity level: i feel diluted with disapointment

i'd like to take an entry to talk about karma... not the true hindu beliefes of karmatic life, but the westernized reasoning for dumb luck, or as it may be, bad luck.

it came to my attention last night that my wallet is M.I.A.. the last place i can remember using/seeing my wallet was in King City sunday afternoon, the halfway mark from here to SB, 150 miles away. now, i try to live my life as 'karma friendly' as possible. i give and give and give. when i find wallets, as i have on many occassions, i return them anomiously through the mail. i used to steal when i was in high school, its true. but we all did once or twice, right? (only from large department stores, never from people) i smile at strangers. i feel sorry for myself all the time, but that shouldn't create any sort of bad karma, should it?

my point is this... i don't really have a point i guess. i just want my wallet back. thats it. i think i deserve it back. i'm hessitant to cancel all my cards because i misplace things all the time. i'm going to check my work, my school and then gracefully give-up.

this experience has left me disheartened. i did a nice thing in taking my brother skin boarding in Santa Barbara sunday. i didn't have to. it was out of my way a bit really. does that count for somthing? sure i got to pick up the sweater i'd left there friday, but i was ok with leaving it there till this coming weekend when i would have been brought to me.

is this because i'm stoopid? is this because i smoke pot and i can't remember a damned thing clearly? a sign?i'd like to think not. well, i'd like to think the wallet is under my messy bed too.

i'd like to end this entry with "FUCK KARMA" but i'm honestly scared to.

to whom ever, what ever force or will or luck or whatever...please give me back my wallet.